“The Project of Real Women” | Guest Post by Naomi White

Hi Guys, Jules here (just quickly introducing this blog post, to avoid any confusion!)… A couple of years ago I was travelling through Byron Bay and I met my match. Well, almost my match – she was smarter, younger and had more awesome hair. Nevertheless, we became good friends. Her name was Naomi White and she recently undertook an interesting “Project of Real Women”, asking everyday women some pretty raw questions. Today, we’re lucky to be publishing the results of the project, which are quite amazing. Through her work,  Naomi learned that women are strong, protective, loving, supportive, and open… all at once. She learned that Women want you to get to know them, they want to be known. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, she learned that Women are heart-wrenchingly beautiful, inside and out! Please enjoy Naomi’s guest post and the fascinating, hilarious and heart-warming results from her Project of Real Women! The responses are from women who have partaken in the project anonymously (you might have some fun trying to guess which responses are mine as I took part!)

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GUEST POST: Naomi White

“A few months ago I got to thinking about the commodification of women and the emphasis placed on our bodies – not only in the media, but in every day conversation.

Women are physically beautiful. There is something about the female body that is captivating.

But what really intrigues me, is the person behind the form. Who is inside there? And how do we get to it?

The form is so easy to see and look at and pick apart.

But the person underneath? Is a mystery.

I decided I wanted to demonstrate just how stunning every woman is, as she is. So I came up with a list of questions designed to get answers that would show a glimpse of what’s underneath.

This was going to primarily be a photography project, showing women with no airbrushing, make up, or sucking in, alongside their answers to the questions. But when I got the replies to my questions, I was struck by their beauty, and decided that the words on their own painted breathtaking views of these women.”

When do you feel most alive?

When I’m in love

10 seconds prior to climax

when I’m running & full of energy!

Outside, near a beach

Eating mussels with you was a good moment

After exercise, eating out doors, BBQ’s

Night time adventures and strolls

When I am capturing something that I’ll be able to share and make an impact on with others (photo/video/experience). Because I love making someone’s day with something original.

When i am doing something productive and it is appreciated by the people most dear to me. i.e. cooking an amazing meal and everyone absolutely loving it, or in a professional environment it would be doing projects at work and doing a superb job and receiving positive feedback. (Innovation/Leadership/Performance) But this is only one type of alive. I also feel very alive (but peaceful alive) when i have no worries and no stress whilst sitting in the middle of nature on a beautiful day and just soaking it all in – true appreciation for life and its essence

Belly laughing, tears of joy, splashing about in the ocean

Doing something I’ve never done before or something spontaneous, and travelling, always travelling.

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A favourite memory?

God I have so many memories that I love to screen in my minds theatre.

The few months I dated a sex addict

Riding horses as a child

Wedding day was awesome!

Waking up 4 hrs after I birthed her & realizing I had a daughter

Favourite Romantic memory? Mike, at the airport, many times. But always, seeing Mike’s face after a time apart. It’s like coming home. Seeing someone you love is always like that. I’m lucky that I have lots of people to miss, who it feels amazing to see again.

More of a ‘time’ – the summer of 2009, I felt amazing.

Happiest memory? I remember several times when I felt like I would explode with happyness, funny how they are difficult to recall too though.

At coachella, in loud music.

My childhood. The whole thing, but if we are getting specific, laying on my mothers lap while she talked to friends and softly combed her hands through my hair.

One of my most valued memories is sitting with my grandparents listening to the stories of them growing up and smiling at how similar I am to them both – very treasured

When I was a teenager (before being exposed to the horrors of skin cancer) laying on the beach in the middle of the day, in the middle of summer, letting the sun dry me while having a cigarette (before being made aware of the dangers of smoking), and drinking a coke (before I was aware of the toxic ingredients) and laughing with a girlfriend.

Sunbathing in Vanuatu. I like to close my eyes remember the feeling of being utterly warm and relaxed in good company.

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A secret you’re ready to share? 

Hmmm, not ready.

I don’t really have any secrets. I don’t think I hide anything anymore, maybe some people do… I know I think pretty horrible things sometimes. Maybe I do them sometimes even, but I don’t think I dwell on them or hide them. I feel like nothing stays secret. I’m not pregnant or anything.

I’ve had body-image issues for over a decade, and I’m done with it.

Still learning to slowly pull down my brick wall, maybe one day I will be more open….

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How do you show love?

I f*ck like I’m on film! Haha

I do stuff for people – I’m generous in service I suppose. Cooking or tracking down something I know someone wants or often to look after kids, help out, have the loved one around our house, spoil them, talk, hang out. Hug, cuddle, sit on, have them sit on me, lean on, touch, entertain.

Through food! through gifts, thoughtful ones I hope. Through conversations. With my time.

For me its something I would do automatically when I get that connection with someone, without consciously showing love,I just do it instinctively.

Expressions and offers in small gestures, little surprises, often.

Corinthians 13:4-8 ~ Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.

With an abundance of kindness, words and actions.

Through actions and physical affection. I also tend to make things for the people I cherish most.

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What do you want from life?

Everything. To be happy, to really experience it. To not hold back.

Just to be happy! It’s hard for me to think of solid life plans because so far, going with the flow and trusting my instincts has led to life choices that have made me the happiest.

F*cking everything & then some more!

Happiness, pure and simple.

For my mission to be complete

I want to be constantly evolving towards the best person I can be. I want to live in a place of gratitude and acceptance . I do not strive for an easy life, I want to live a life of value, of contribution, of kindness.

To love and be loved. To explore and to be full of joy.

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What’s your life mission?

To do & learn as much as possible. To affect random lives in a positive way. Life is too short. Sleep when I’m dead.

I don’t think I really have one. Perhaps to be less selfish. (But isn’t that inherently selfish?) I’d like to help people succeed and find happiness and do things that they want to do. I want to provide a backbone of stability and resource and help.

Live life to the max. All Or Nothing.

To be joyful.

To help to relieve suffering through encouraging; kindness, generosity, gratitude, love and laughter.

Empirically there is a lot, like being trilingual and walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain. But, all that aside, my mission is to draw closer to my Creator.

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When are you most joyful?

10 seconds AFTER climax haha

When I’m surrounded by loved ones. When there are so many around me we struggle to fit, there may not be enough cutlery! Or food! Or chairs. I love that!

Had to look up joyful. Full of high spirited delight. hmm, when I’m enthused and around my friends. When I’m entertaining them and being ridiculous I guess. again – active, doing things. Went bowling the other night, that was pretty joyful.

When I’m making somebody laugh until they cry.

When my children have overcome a personal challenge and feel proud of themselves.

With my girlfriends, when we’re all relaxed and full of laughter (and food).

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Something you want to do but don’t dare?

I’d quit business & just be, learn piano properly! Practice yoga & singing & dancing. I’d dare to stop achieving & be more creative. But I’m not ready yet. I’m half ready.

Nothing. I honestly can’t think of anything. That sounds really arrogant, but I really can’t think of anything that I’m afraid to do or don’t dare to. nothing that I ‘want’ to do like that.

Be a mother. One day – but I’m not daring enough yet!

Fall in love, run away and never return

F*ck strangers ! Haha no truly, that’s it. I’d f*ck heaps more strangers if I could get away with it.

 Get angry at people.

Have sex! .. I don’t dare to yet, but I will!

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Something you have done that you thought you wouldn’t do?

Gotten a job in a gallery, doing what I am doing now. Getting money to be me. It’s weird. It’s surprising.

Quit my job without the next one lined up.

Ran away and completely disappeared for long periods of time ….twice

Accept workers compensation.

Marijuana… Hehe

Marry for a second time

Have a son

Leave my husband

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What do you love thinking about?

I love thinking about freedom, release, how we can influence by being free in spirit, in what we say, what we do. Leading by example, leading an uncommon life.

People. my friends, good design. Food, making things. the way things feel. Sex sometimes. maybe intimacy. Happyness. Swimming.

People I love!!

LOVE.

hahaha falling in love and running away to a little island

Being old, living in a big country house (like Garp’s mother’s), by the sea with an array of social activists living with me, planning and schemeing. Having my children and grandchildren come for weekends, sitting around a big table by the fire, telling stories and listening to stories.

Romance, the future, stories I’ve read

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So there it is, real women, real results. I hope you enjoyed the responses as much as I did! I’d like to give a shout out to the gorgeous yummy souls who participated in answering my questions and letting me share them with the world! – Naomi

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All or Nothing thanks Naomi White for conducting The Real Women project & for choosing All or Nothing as the platform for sharing her work.

Would you like to make a comment on any of the project questions above? Do you think this is a solid reflection of women’s views around the world?